You Never know Jesus is All You Need Until Jesus is All You Have

Philip and I have been through A LOT the past 2 months! I've seen a side of Philip I never thought existed in him. For a while I was so scared my marriage was going to fail. I felt worried, scared, helpless, lonely, insecure, disappointed, angry and unloved. Philip was going through a very frustrating time at work and was finding different ways to try and release his frustration. He was drinking so much every weekend and his drinking drove me to the point where I didn't even want to be home on Friday nights. He would talk to me and absolutely everything he said when he was drunk made no sense. Philip was not the man I married the last 2 months.
I began to cover him in prayer (my mother and mother-in-law prayed for Philip as well) I prayed that our Lord, with His mighty power would destroy Philip's mountains of temptation. I prayed the Lord would destroy his mountain of temptation, adultery. Destroy the mountain of drinking alcohol in excess amounts. I prayed for Philip's faith to become stronger and God would use everyone around him as His lights. I prayed for every inch of Philip's flesh and mind. I also prayed for myself. I prayed for strength, security in my marriage, and believe it or not I thanked God for the struggle I was encountering because it was bringing me closer to him, closer than I had ever been before. I was spending more time in prayer than I have ever before.
Philip, the girls and I moved to a hotel in Coppers Cove after we had all of our belongings packed for Germany. We stayed in the hotel for a little over a week while the girls finished school and Philip began the process of signing out of Ft. Hood. I continued to cover every inch of Philip in prayer. During this time I realized that God was making changes in me as well. I needed to change so I could see the changes in Philip. I was less argumentative, I was more interested in what was going on with Philip at work, I had a desire to please Philip. Most of the hard spots in my heart were softened. Philip's drinking decreased tremendously after we moved to the hotel. He still drank beer but not Crown Royal or Jim Beam.
Memorial Day weekend we came to San Antonio. I needed a break from living in hotel and the girls were through with school (both girls have been promoted to the next grade. Joslyn-4th and Allison-2nd). We arrived in San Antonio Friday evening and Philip hit the streets of San Antonio "running". He caught up with some "friends" and every night was in the streets with these guys. He would stay out ALL night and not come home until the next day just to shower and hit the streets again. During this time was when I realized I needed to add to my list of prayers for Philip. I began to pray that God would break these chains of negative "friendships" Philip has with these guys. It was bringing Philip down and hurting his family. Oh how I prayed and prayed and prayed. I was hurting yet I was finding comfort in praying because I know God hears my cries! Every time we come to San Antonio to visit Philip would always hook up with these guys and put his family on the back burner. I would throw fits when Philip would tell me he was going out to see his friends. Memorial Day weekend I didn't fight him at all. I just prayed and prayed. I took my frustration and disappointment to our Lord.
Well the night we were suppose to leave for Ft. Hood Philip had an experience that knocked him to his knees. I believe that God used this experience to change Philip and to realize that family is far more important then these "friends" he was hitting the streets with. I believe God also gave me a sense of calmness every time Philip went out with these guys because God had a plan for Philip and I could not disrupt His plan from being carried out. Since this event has happened Philip has made HUGE changes in his life. He has set his priorities straight, demolished his past demeanor and everything that went along with his past demeanor. Philip has finally come to a realization of everything that he has been doing these past 2 months and has thanked me a number of times for staying with him through these storms and what a storm it has been! Through all of these struggles I have encountered over the past 2 months God has brought me so much closer to Him. He has taught me so much and heard my cries (I never once doubted He was not hearing my cries, I found comfort in knowing God's timing is perfect timing, and I tried my hardest to be patient). Philip has alot to face in the near future. I continue to pray for Philip,his future, our marriage, our girls, and our home. Now my prayers are different. I am praising our Lord for my struggles, for the miracles he did in our marriage, for the miraculous changes He made in Philip and in me. Like the title of the blog, Jesus is ALL I need!!