Marriage Monday

I know it's not Monday, but I'm still going to blog about my marriage. In my Wednesday morning bible study group we are working through the book and study guide, Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts

I am learning a lot about God's sovereignty. So far the chapter that has really touched me is chapter 4: God's Sovereignty over People
I already knew that God works in the hearts of people, however it was encouraging to read in more depth how God works in our hearts to fulfill His purposes. As I was reading chapter 4 I thought of Philip, my husband. I saw many changes in his personality and his priorities when he came back from Iraq last year. Even when we moved to Germany in 2008 I saw some changes in Philip. However it seems that these past few months Philip has taken a HUGE step backwards. It looks like Philip is falling in a downward spiral into a pit. He knocks my faith in God, the church body, and religion. He is drinking again (I must say that he is not drinking nearly as much as he was a few years ago, before we moved to Germany. Philip was drinking until he passed out EVERY weekend. He only drinks once every other weekend or so. Philip does not drink in our home like he did a few years ago.) Philip does not participate in as many family activities as he once did- when he first came home from Iraq. His attitude and out look on life has turned sour. I have Philip on the prayer list and all the women in bible study group are praying for him. I will continue to pray for Philip, his heart, mind and his soul. It can be so hard to pray for Philip at times when he hurts my feelings emotionally. Its hard to pray for Philip when he disconnects from our family and just locks himself up in our bedroom. I want to pray for him, but I feel so unloved, unappreciated, not wanted and a burden to Philip. After reading chapter 4 and soaking up what I had read. I think I am beginning to think that I need to work on my attitude and the way I respond to Philip. This is a BIG challenge for me. I will need every bit of God's help. I know that as I work on my attitude towards Philip, I can then be a better light of God to Philip. This will be a hard especially when Philip ignores the girl's and I but goes out and drinks ALL night with his friends. It will be hard to not give him the silent treatment, the cold shoulder or yell at him for his teenage/ childish ways. It will be hard to not throw the "D" word out to him (Divorce). I am going to need lots and LOTS of encouragement and prayers for both Philip and I!
Proverbs 21:1 "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases".